I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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