My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize