Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
