I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
