why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
