so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
