Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
