I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
