The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
