im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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