Will you blow on my dice?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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