It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
