WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize