the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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