Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
