I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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