Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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