I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
