doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
