Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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