And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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