Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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