Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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