He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
