just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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