How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
