So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
