Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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