what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
