Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize