it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
