K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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