Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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