He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
