Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My bed smells like the plague
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
