How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize