Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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