I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
