my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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