I hope mine doesn't look like that
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I got inside last night via doggy door
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
