glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
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i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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