I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
