What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
