so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
