your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
nutella sex= disaster
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
