well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
