I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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