he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
ttyl tear gas
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize