Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
