Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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