YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
