You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
