Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
