well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
